Below is a blog post that I wrote six months ago…I’ve been sitting on it, ignoring it, and just not having time for it until today. Today is the day I finally will post it. So ignore the 15 weeks part… Baby Borg was 15 weeks when I started this post and today is 40 weeks (9 months) old.
Maybe it’s only fitting that today I post this blog and reflect that we now have had the same number of weeks with Baby Borg outside the womb as in. And for the record, naps are officially better now…not every day but most days we nap and go to sleep all on our own. I’m not sure when I first started writing this blog below I thought we would ever get to this day but here we are, it is documented, and it is really all God’s grace that we are here.
Enjoy – K
Dear Baby Borg,
You are here! I’ve been meaning to write you this note for quite some time now but since you made your official appearance outside of the womb and into the world 15 weeks ago (okay, really 40 weeks ago now), I’ve been a little preoccupied. I’ve also been a lot sleep deprived. It has been a whirlwind since you arrived and although I’ve probably cried more in the last 15 weeks than I can really remember (or maybe since I was your age), I wouldn’t change a thing.
Something I am learning and something I will teach you is that hard is hard, but hard is not bad. A great pastor taught me that lesson that although the hard things in life are, well, hard, they have a purpose, and I can honestly say it’s been the hard things in my life that have really taught me the most.
Now let me be clear from the get go, you are not difficult. You are a baby who has normal needs and lets us know often when or when they are not met. I’ll be honest though, it is hard on days when you forget how wonderful naps can be and no matter how much rocking, shushing, or jiggling we do, it’s a no go. It’s hard when after you peacefully go back to sleep at 4 in the morning I am too wired and thus sleepless knowing my alarm will be going off in about an hour. It’s hard leaving you and going to work each day knowing I’ll miss your smiles, coos, and even cries.
It’s been hard as I’ve continued to learn how deceitful my heart can be as God uses motherhood to reveal again my sinful desire to want to control just about everything. It’s also been so good and wonderful as I’ve learned with new meaning the significance of releasing all things to God and trusting in Him for the outcome.
So here we are little one, starting out on this journey of life. Already as you know, we’ve had many ups and downs and those will only continue. But know this, it’s the hard things that can teach us the most if we are willing and open to learning from them, and then trusting in the One who keeps us trusting. This is really the only way we will make it through. Don’t worry, I’ll continue to tell you about this One to keep trusting as we go so for now, let’s celebrate each nap, smile, and even dirty diaper along the way.